Today

Today was the day.
Today was the day she had to make a decision.
Today was a normal working day, could be wednesday or tuesday, just a day,to-day.
Today was like those thousend days you have, just one more.
One more (apparently) no special day, nothing to expect, except for her.
Just one more.
At morning, with people on the street,
no surprises, everyone at their place as always at that time that day.
Nothing rare except her.
She tries to get that normality into her. Nothing to do.
She almost faint from the war it was in her veins.
Breath, look herself in a door-mirror and go on.
Spanish was the language but English deeply.
She didn´t want to think it too much pretending being strong,
but she was just scare of growing fears (they were growing so fast indeed).
Breath once again.
Being a frozen body while everything moves around,
wind, people walking by, plastic bags, little rocks, empty bottles...
everything moves except her.
She doesn´t know which step do.
It was those days suddenly you feel the present, the real present
that heavy, that you can not move neither her.
She saw all her future from that day concentraded
in a little white pill.
She just had to shallow and time will roll on again.
She will never know how it will be,
she will never know if it was yes or no,
but she knew she was closing a big door that never will be open again.
Just shallowing.Closed eyes.And shallow.
That pill was a big MAYBE with capital letters,
a big WHO KNOWS blinked electric neon lights on a dark highway she was driven by alone.

And that was her murdered.
"I have great desire. My desire is great"
Murdering wishes.
She was just pushing life to be lived.
To believe that it´s done to live it.

But the big silence around her discuss what to decide,
how we wake up, how we walk, how we have to breathe and when,
how we have to fuck, how we have to eat and what,
that silence was strangulating her.

And what happen if you don´t listen that silent?

She was forced to do it by anyone and everyone.
How would it have being?

"I have great desire. My desire is great"

Just wanted to live life.


Texto: Gloria March
Foto: Isaac Torres